Yesterday. I posted this on my Facebook.
Elsie Divinia Mowe, whom I call Aunty Mimi all my life, was 88 when she went home to the Lord on the 1st of June 2021. I can’t do that official thing so, I will put it in a way I know how to best. She was a mother to my cousin, Kelvin, and also to my sisters and I. She was a sister to my Aunty Shirl and Aunty Letty, and to my Mum, as well.
Aunty Mimi is, by nature, an educator. If you were to sit with her and listen to her speak, she is always very prim and proper. Typical for an Eurasian woman who was brought up that way. She would always tell someone off for using words incorrectly. It does her head in when someone says, “the movie best!” (it is a Malaysian thing, by the way). She will ALWAYS (and without fail) correct them and say, “that is NOT the way to say it! You should say ‘the movie is the best!’ not the movie best!” The only people who can get away with it would be my sister and me. To her, we can do no wrong! *giggles* Jokes aside, most of her kindergarten students would remember her as being strict. But it is always the strict ones people remember most. And it is ALWAYS the naughty ones who have a soft spot for them.
However, in 2018, she had a nasty fall. I remembered that day. How my Uncle wondered why her house was in darkness when he drove by one evening, and how we tried calling her house but she did not answer. I remembered feeling the panic stirring within me. And what I remembered most, when we were at the hospital.
I remember sleeping at the hospital with her for the time she was at the hospital. It was uncomfortable but it was worth it. I would wait for her to fall asleep, before going to sleep and she would call me when she needed a drink. I remember her infectious smile as she ‘flirted’ with the doctor who came to check on her. It still makes me laugh recalling the words she said to the doctor, “You are a handsome fellow, and I feel better already.” It does not limit to flattering men. When a female nurse comes into her room, she would say, “You look very pretty today.”
Since that fall, Kelvin brought in caregivers to live with her to keep her company but that never stopped my family from visiting her from time to time. It became a habit (although there was the occasional reminder from my Mum) to inform her that we were going off somewhere.
Now that I think about it; I guess, that is what makes people love Aunty Mimi. The things she say to people. All the phone calls, and messages I got today conveying condolences to my family. It was basically the same, people miss her smile, and the way she spoke to people. This reminds me of what one of her caregivers said after yesterday. After the funeral, she wants to tender her resignation to the nursing home. The reason being that she (the caregiver) had never met anyone as beautiful as Aunty Mimi. Aunty Mimi has never scolded anyone for no reason. And I have NEVER met someone like the caregiver. Her name is Malisa. She was badly affected because for the past months, she had been with Aunty Mimi day and night. And yesterday, she was in mid conversation with Aunty Mimi when Aunty Mimi went silent. It was heartbreaking to hear Malisa crying over the phone telling me that Aunty Mimi was unconscious. I don’t blame her, I would have panicked as well. But you can tell that Malisa loved Aunty Mimi that she made the decision to resign from the nursing home. IF anyone were to tell me that the caregivers did not take care of Aunty Mimi, I will defend them like family!
To explain my Facebook post… So, maybe I was a little angry at fate but mostly, I was angry at the fact that it felt like I did not do enough for her. The feeling was no different to when I lost Serena in 2019. This pain, stung a bit more because Aunty Mimi brought me up. I went to St Thomas’ Kindergarten when she was the headmistress there, I went for tuition at her house after school during my primary years. For some kind of odd reason, I remembered staying with her when my parents had to travel for work. What I remember most then was how much I loved her quaint house. It was home. There were just too many fond memories in that house of hers.
Then since I got my driver’s license, I would take a day off from anything just to take her out to buy essentials or go to the clinic, and she would pay me with lunch. I did it so often, I knew what she liked to eat. I even knew what particular milk she drank. Also, I had promised that I would take Aunty Mimi for her vaccination on the 5th (of this month) at the nursing home…
My Aunty Mimi loves fish, especially stingray. Today, my Mum mentioned that we did not get grilled ray for her after we got it for her the first time round. When she mentioned it, a little fragment of what was broken fell off. I turned my mind off, and controlled myself from crying. I was supposed to get the grilled ray but I kept forgetting to find for it, and with this lockdown, movement is limited; so, there is that.
I am going to miss Aunty Mimi. I am going to miss going to her house and she will ask, “Did you get something nice for me?” I can never know how to answer her especially when I bring her groceries in. Also, I am going to miss is the little pout she always makes, and her smile whenever my sister and I go to her house.
But, I must say that I am glad for is that we got her that birthday cake on the 21st of May. I would have done what I normally do, give her a kiss on the cheek but damn this Covid! I can’t do that because she is 88 years old.
Worth a mention, when my sister, my Mum and I got home from the funeral parlour, we were greeted by a green and black butterfly (and I must mention that Aunty Mimi was wearing a green top in her rest). In all my years living in that house, I have NEVER seen it before. And my Mum said it could be her saying goodbye.
Anyway, this entry is not just only about loss but it is also about gaining. People who personally know me would know that I play games. For years, when my birthday rolls by in March, I tell people to get me PS4 games! Anyway, I can be found on the PlayStation Network and Nintendo and if you dig up, you might find me on XBox (when I had the 360 in 2010).
Currently, I am playing a mobile game called State of Survival. People won’t believe that I can stay loyal and true to a mobile game (aside from Robot Unicorn Attack 2 – hey, what can I say? I am an 80s baby, and I love the aesthetics of the 80s!) Anyway, I am grateful that I started playing the game last year in October, after being hounded by the advertisements on various platforms. I am grateful I landed in State #458 (first time players now will land in State #751, or more, I don’t know). Most of all, I am grateful, I landed in JFA (now WSJ) after leaving TSS. There is a reason why I am stating all this and the reason is the people playing the game in State #458. They are awesome people.
Yesterday, before I got to Aunty Mimi’s house, I sent a Discord message to my Alliance saying I might be busy for few hours because I was prepared to spend most of my time at the hospital or running around getting stuff for Aunty Mimi. Then, when it was confirmed that Aunty Mimi has returned to the Lord, I messaged a friend in the same Alliance whom I see as the Alliance’s big brother because I needed someone to talk to. I may have other people to talk to but I did not want to talk to someone who knew me personally. And honestly, I did not want the whole “it is fate” talk as I was not in the mood for that – too many people telling me that already. I needed a neutral ground. And because of this thing called TIME ZONE, he did not respond to me until hours later. At least, I got it out, right? Luckily, I had my niece to keep me entertain with her antics, and had to go around town settling things to keep my mind occupied. Also, I had my small group of friends to keep me sane. Also, it was people like Della and Juliana who reminded me that the Chinese like the number 8 because it was considered lucky. So, 88 was a good year to return to Him.
Today, I noticed that he tried to reach out for me on Discord when I was at the funeral parlour. I responded. Before that, I saw his message on the game alliance chat wondering why did I put on my peace flare (on both settlement and I have two in one alliance, by the way). I was not a fan of the chatting system in the game so I explained to him on Discord. I explained that it was my way to indicate a half mast for my settlements. The next thing I knew, he sent out messages to State Chat about my loss (without mentioning my game name) and to launch peace flares. AND there were a lot of settlements with their peace flares on.
How did I feel about it? I was touched. In fact, as I write this at 11.31 pm, I AM STILL TOUCHED. I am also grateful to them all. They are amazing people. Considering RIVAL ALLIANCES did it as well, which made me tear up.
Despite losing someone I love dearly, I am also blessed by new found friends from a game even if we are all scattered around the world!
To everybody who gave me a reason to smile even when it was most difficult to do so, I want to thank you guys. Thank you for giving me strength to move forward. Thank you for putting a smile on my face. Thank you for being that shoulder for me to cry on when I was pretending to be strong. Thank you all for everything!
I am going to stop here now. Although I took that 2-hour nap, I am still sleepy and my eyes sting. Tomorrow will be the final goodbye, and luckily for me, she will be buried at the Batu Kitang Anglican Cemetery. At least, there is Grandpa and Serena there, as well.
Aunty Mimi, I know you are at a better place. I am going to miss you, actually, everything about you including having to go to the supermarket to get essentials. And I am not the only one. Sleep well, and watch us from above. I love you.
And I’ll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday
Random Deliria 